Coping
Do we ever really accept loss or do we end up just coping with the emotions and the effects?
The friend I lost last month is still very much on my mind and in my heart. His absence is still felt by many of us in our online community. My biggest regret is not making the time for him to visit last summer when he wanted to. Maybe he knew something I didn't.

The internet really is a marvelous thing. It allows us to be more of what we wish we could be yet at the same time, our baser instincts and crudeness are more readily released. Along with the exploration of ourselves comes the inevitable connection to others. People are more transient here. It becomes easier to say: "Oh, I didn't get that email!" to avoid conversations or to just ignore the communication completely.
I've taken to getting numbers. I want to be able to call if I haven't heard from someone I care about and ask: "How are you?" When Steve died, my friend Laura in Florida was the first person I thought to call. I needed, I *had* to hear her voice. Had to have those human words that I knew would echo my heartache.

Steve's brother said they were "coping" and that he spent the one month anniversary rereading Steve's email and crying. I can understand. A day doesn't pass that he isn't on my mind...and I cope...

Hopefully remembering to tell others just how much they mean to me, how I value them in my life and how much I care.

I wrote this several years ago but it means so much more now...
Steve...If Ever I forgot to tell you...I'm sorry.
http://www.yayajon.com/thekays/ifever/index.html






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