New Years Eve 2004



For the past 9 years I've written a diatribe on
New Years eve and sent it out. Much of the
information within pertains to friends, enemies,
families and how life has changed in the past 12 months.

Run now if you don't want to read this year's.

Go on!

Run!

Last warning!!

I'm about to start!!

Okay. You had your chance so if you're still
reading it means your computer is now locked into
place and will not return to its upright position
until you read every word of this ramble.

When I write the lengthy babble my mind is
always filled with those that I communicate
with on this frustrating piece of electronic
advertising - aka the internet.
Last year I had someone write and tell me
they enjoyed it but wasn't sure why they
received it since I hadn't mentioned them.

But..
But....
Butttttt.........

I did!

And there's the frustrating part of communication.
If you get this tonight its because I consider you
a friend and value your input in my life.

Those who know me up close and personal can tell
you I'm a tightwad. Have been for years. I have my
tightwad badge and secret decoder ring and
memorized the tightwad handshake and credo. Buying
a computer was a drastic step for me back in 96.
The salesman guarenteed it was top notch, up to
date and best of the best.

Yes, it was outdated in a year.......

I should have know from the manicial laughter from
the salesman on the other end of the phone that
Gateway was actually a dealer and that the internet
was a drug that I soon wouldn't want to do without.

As you might expect, my addiction grew and the need
overwhelmed me. I was no longer content with 14MB
Ram. I wanted more. I quickly went to using 28 MB
and then 128. I'm attempting to keep my addiction
at 256. Memory became a treasure I couldn't do
without, growing from 1 gig to 10 and then to 20.
Now Dell is trying to move into my hood by flashing
its tempting 40 gigs at me. Foul, foul evil dude
with his dell.

Okay, okay...moving on...

Years ago I envisioned the internet as this
marvelous world wide resource. Unfortunately, at
times it resembles a mall more than a library but
one thing has not disappointed me. The friends I
communicate with.

Remember when we started? There were those online
who tried to differientiate between internet people
and "real" people. I despised that phrase because
as far as I was concerned this was never about
words on a screen and it was everything about the
people putting their fingers on the keys. Not
seeing your face while we talked didn't lessen your
presence for me.

At some point during the holidays our priest
mentioned something that stayed with me. (This
really does all connect - truly it does!!) It was a
mention of how we use people. How we fail to really
get to know them, to connect with them. We don't
mean to take them for granted, but we do. And
that's very true.Life gets busy, we have problems
and concerns on our minds and we just simply forget
to interact with the people we cherish in our lives
as we should.

He gave me an out tho...
It doesn't mean we don't value people...
It means we're humans with still much room to improve.
I'm truly trying.

Those emails that come in spirts and spews are a
simple signal that I'm thinking about you today. I
don't have a preset list. I'll add you to the
things I think you'll find interesting or funny.
Something that might make you think or chuckle. I
know a lot of them get deleted. You've TOLD me they
get deleted! LOL But they're still a message that
says: "Hey you...I thought about you today. Hope
you're ok." It's the same with the webpages.
There's not one that I create that isn't written
for the people I know.

This year has brought a lot of change. If you don't
know yet, I bought a house. A mine mine mine house!
(And anyone who knows the history and the struggle
of our loss of the famialy's business and the
bankruptcy know how much it means for me to have
something of my own that I can truly call mine.
It's given me an opportunity to learn more about
myself - and finally admit that I am a lousely
housekeeper - and given me time to branch out with
my own creative endeavors, including finding friends.

I've had several friends that I graduated with,
people who were very important to me in high
school, tenatively reconnect through this computer.
And I am constantly amazed at how strong the
friendships I made online way back when have
become. If you've read these new years eve messages
before, you'll always see near the beginning of my
list that Friendship begins on a Tuesdee. Yes, I
know how to spell the day, but the phrase is a
reference to my first online friend who lives in
Canada, who knows me like most will never and who
is amazingly still talking to me!!!

Yeah, we're "real" people....
I've made some wonderful friends through the
internet. I found first love and experienced a
world I never knew existed because of the internet.
I even had my first four babblings published with
Blue Mountain because an editor saw them on the
internet! LOL Even relationships with those people
that I see every day are enhanced when they share
with me online their thoughts as well as what makes
them laugh.

So if there's ever a time I get quiet and take you
for granted, know that I'm sorry and I don't mean
to. You're here with me every day. When the
computer is running and when it isn't. What you've
wove into my life are threads that can't be
discarded. Not even when I need alone time.

So my list of thoughts and drive by ramblings this
year isn't long and is rather simple.

Friendship does begin on a Tuesdee
It last each second of the year.
It spans the earth several times over.
It can bring as many tears and laughs and each
is equally as precious.
Time is a lot harder to come by than money
so what we spend with others should be well used.
Silence doesn't mean distance, sometimes it
indicates comfort.
As limited as we are as human beings our compassion
and empathy for those in need can not be surpassed.
Read this carefully:
Your name not being on this
page doesn't mean that I don't count
you as friend, think of you often
and value communication from you.

Okay. That's actually it this year.
No witty smart *$$ remarks.
Somehow this just doesn't seem to be the year for it.

Life is short and uncertain. We've all seen that
this week. There's nothing of more value in our
lives than those that we hold and hold us in the
heart. Some of you have reconnected this year and I
thank you, sincerely thank you for that. A few are
completely new friends and I've enjoyed getting to
know you. Others continue to be as steadfast as you
have ever been. You have my gratitude.

Mush is over.
Babble is over.

Be safe tonight. Be happy in the year ahead.

As ever
Brenda

""When the heart sings and the spirit soars, the music
of life is complete."
bkh - October 99


"Love is the music the heart sings best."


"To bring you laughter each morning and warmth at night...
would bring me joy at all hours." :c)